Motivated? Big time!

Had a great day today. I'm aching to get the treadmill here so I can see more results and faster too. In the meantime I did some arm weightlifting, used my son for some more weight lifting. and danced all around with him for a good 15 minutes.

I'm excited about progress! So excited I don't even want to sleep. Whoops. :)

The scale lies?

A bad week for weighing in, admittedly. But I am happy with results in places other than the scale. Just a month ago I bought a very cute top but it was a skosh tight. I wore it for the first time today and it is so much more flattering! *permagrin* Also, the capri's I'm wearing fit so much better than they did the last time I tried to wear them. I couldn't hardly breathe! My scrub tops at work are looser and people are starting to notice. It's a good feeling!

My best friend joined loseit recently and that's been awesome. Great for accountability. More and more of our talks are about calories and exercise than ever. Back in the day when we were working together we used to go to Del Taco and get a double del meal every morning around 7am. The other night we looked up the calorie count. No wonder I was gaining weight! More than 1500 calories and that was just breakfast!

Work was pretty good this week. Some drama but not terrible. I'm learning to separate myself from the primary sources of drama as much as possible and just carry on about my night. It was more fun going to work and feeling like I was hanging out with friends, but in the end a job is a job and I'm there to do it well.

I want candy, er no, fast food

I have a wicked craving for some Wendy's or Burger King. Am I hungry? Not terribly. I'm placing the blame on endometriosis and the failed treatment. I called and made an appointment for Monday but that seems forever away.

I went to help a friend pick up a mattress from someone on Craigslist and the whole way around town I was flooded with drive thru impulses. Cognitively, I don't want any of it. I have 600 some off calories left in my budget for the day. Anything I would care to get would put me over by at least 500, if not more. I know that after the meal I would have buyers remorse, maybe even before I finished (but I'd still scarf it all anyway.) Who knows what indigestion might follow, particularly if I top it off with my favorite "monthly" go to food, a shake. So my head says, "Yeah right, so not happening." My hormones are screaming an entirely different tune. The salt, the grease, the warmth, the momentary happiness. Why must I be so internally diametrically opposed?

On a happier note: Pay day!!!! 2 bills paid so far and the rest spent on paper. Not the best paycheck as far as left over money to pay off debt, but hey, some is totally better than none.

Not what they told me to expect

My post surgery treatment plan includes a 2 part series of injections that last a total of 6 months. The whole point of these injections is to stop me from having periods so that the endometriosis doesn't grow back. 2 weeks into the first injection and I had a period. "Oh, well it takes about 4 weeks for the injection to actually take effect." Even though I just had a period 2 weeks ago? Weird, but whatever. 2 months in and I have had a period every 2 weeks, like clockwork, without fail. Umm, doesn't that defeat the whole purpose??? I go back in a month for my second injection but guess what, not going to take it until I get some answers. At the rate I'm going I'll be back in the O.R. by my birthday. Hrmph!

In other news, I made significant progress on debt and the month is not even half over. I paid $400 on my surgery bill leaving me with only $256 before I kick it out the door. I was hoping to pay that all on Friday but I need to get the windshield on my truck replaced so I will have to slow the payment down just a little. Nothing to sweat though since it's still going to be paid off a whole month early anyway!

After class today I went to Target with the intention of buying my own scale. We only have one scale in this house and it is inconveniently located for my access. By the time I am able to get to it, it's well past when I woke up and I am fairly certain I'm not getting an accurate reading. Not a problem anymore. So I brought it home, entered my information, turned it on and held my breath. 274 lbs, a horrid 50% body fat, and only 35% water. So I'm dehydrated and I am as much fat as anything else. I'm not panicking. That only means that, while it's disgusting, I can only improve from here.

Insurance companies, my fave!

I'm on hold with my insurance company trying to figure out exactly what I'm responsible for in regards to a claim from the surgery I had in January. Endless circles and no answers. What a fun filled day!

In other news, school for this week is a little out of control. My english professor normally does an excellent job of posting the assignments in a timely manner with clear, complete, and concise instructions. This week, not so much. Every one has an off week, I totally get that. I can't make out top from bottom exactly what I'm supposed to do and it's frustrating. I posted something on the discussion board that I hope will get me the clarification I need. In the mean time I'm just going to start and do the best I can, fingers crossed that it's right.

Losing weight why???

That's why.

Sickness and such

I've been hacking up lungs and other various organs for the last 3 days, what fun! Sleep hasn't exactly come easy but it's left me a lot of time to think.

A month ago I went on a little shopping spree and as part of this promotion the store had going on I got a bunch of coupons. Spend $50, pay $25. I got a total of 5 coupons equalling a potential $250 shopping spree at the price of $125. Yay! So I spent the month saving and planning a second shopping spree for the dates valid on the coupon. So here it is, the last day to use the coupons and I've decided against going. I saved $145 (tax and lunch out) for the day, and I don't want to spend one penny of it on clothes.

Yesterday I decided that I would much rather put that money towards debt. If I was going to spend it on anything, it would be a treadmill. Turns out I don't even have to do that because a friend of mine offered to let me borrow hers. Yay! As soon as my son is finally out of the auxiliary room and into a real room most of the furniture in my room is going with him. Then I'm going to rearrange my room so that I can fit the treadmill in here. I have a thing about working out in front of my family. Besides, it's a lot more difficult to ignore a treadmill that's in the same room than one on the other side of the house.

In happy news, I'm down an entire 11 lbs. I'm happy but at the same time, I'm going to have a hard time being wowed until I get under the lowest I was, 239, after I had my son. We have a family reunion this summer and I have some work to do! Not that it's a competition but if the motivation works, why not, right? I have one cousin, she lost 60 lbs during her pregnancy. She looks fabulous! Another cousin started running in January and has lost upwards of 30 lbs already. I can't be the only 20 something cousin that comes heavier than ever. (And I've always been the heaviest of all my cousins. Both sides of the family.)

So, back to the debt, using the money I didn't go shopping with I should be able to pay off half of a medical bill I just got. $656 for the center where I had my surgery in January. They were supposed to let me know all costs upfront, however they seemed to miss the biopsy. If I'm paying off half now, I ought to be able to pay it off completely by the end of the month.

I'm waiting for another bill to come in, a $100 copay for an E.R. visit for my son. If I squeeze my budget hard enough I may be able to get that one paid off by the end of the month as well. How awesome would that be? $756 in one month? Rock on! That would be 2 entire debts to wipe off my board and then I could take on my last 2 and be done. I owe a medical imaging center $1461 and my mom $8000. In the meantime I also need to save about $1200 for said family reunion. Won't be easy but will definitely be worth it.

If I sell my truck, everything will happen that much faster. I just can't let myself end up in a position of not having a vehicle.

I'm being summoned for a snack.

Productive. Say what???

Just since I walked in the door at 7am I have fed, dressed, and taken my baby boy to school, done a load of laundry, the dishes, paid some bills, put gas in the car, got the necessary money from the ATM, talked a friend out of a big mistake, and redone my budget for the next two weeks now that I actually have a paycheck in hand. Not to shabby for 2 hours time.

Now all I have to do is finalize my paper for english, type a few quick discussion board answers and I will be out like a light. Hopefully until 6:45 this time instead of 5. Then it will be picking up munchkin, dinner, pack dinner for work, put him to bed, a nap if I can, and another beautiful night at the hospital. Tomorrow is my annual review. I haven't had a single one since I started with the company, so it should be interesting.

Stay tuned!

Several new beginnings

What a great night to begin blogging. Or morning rather. At the brilliant hour of 5:30 my charming toddler decided that he is up and ready to conquer the world. This mom thinks otherwise. It has nothing to do with the fact that I haven't been to sleep yet, though not for lack of trying.

Why blogging? It's always been a curiosity and an interest of mine, though I was never able to write anything captivating enough to form an audience or a following and subsequently lost interest. Presently I have a lot going on in my life and I'm trying to succeed in a few key areas and the hope is that writing them out and venting my frustrations and success will aid in my ability to sort through the good, the bad, and the indifferent. You know, like when your 2 year old throws a temper tantrum before the sun's come up.

What areas of my life am I working so hard in? Money, school, working, parenting, losing weight, and being a better friend.

Money: I have been in consumer debt to one extent or another for upwards of 5 years. Basically all of my adult life. I don't like it. I want to get out of debt. I want to save money and actually do things besides pay bills. I began this endeavor in November of 2009 and to date have paid off somewhere in the neighborhood of $20,000. Now I only have about $10,000 to go.

I'm currently in school full time finishing my prerequisites for the ultrasound program at a different community college than the one I currently attend. This will be my last full time semester thankfully until the ultrasound program begins in fall of 2012.

I work nights full time as a vampire, AKA phlebotomist, at one of the local hospitals. It's not my dream job and certainly not what I planned on doing when I was say, 5. I can just see it now, a teacher asking her classroom what they all want to be when they grow up and little Susie pipes up, "I want to draw blood!" It's not a bad gig either and certainly makes for some interesting times. Most importantly, it pays the bills.

As previously mentioned, I have a 2 year old. He is amazingly brilliant, exceptionally well-behaved, and so much fun. Most of the time. But then again, he is 2. He's my one and only and his father is not in the picture. I like life a lot better that way anyway.

Losing weight is like trying to get out of hell. I have been overweight for as long as I can remember. In 6th grade I wore a size 14/16, how embarrassing is that? With everything else I'm doing in my life, weight loss and exercise is the easiest to put on the back burner with the promise of tomorrow. We all know that tomorrow never comes.

Friendships are weird things sometimes. One minute you're as close as you can be to someone and the next you realize that you'll probably never talk to that person ever again. And sometimes that's okay. As it stands now I'm just trying to focus on being a better friend to the ones that are in my life now.

I think that about sums up the what and the why. You have a little insight into the who as well, but who wants to give up all the good details right from the start?